The over-adaptive type is created when there is a difference of 20 or more between the child’s intelligence and the parent’s intelligence (as written in the narrative).
Brain development reaches 80% of the adult level at age 3, and from that point on, the parents will have fits of jealousy because of the difference between high and low intelligence, one would think. But in reality, since intelligence is innate, parents unconsciously sense the difference in intelligence from the time they are newborn babies, causing them to have fits of jealousy.
Parents who are fostering babies with no difference in intelligence can fawn over them without question.
But when it comes to a baby with a difference in intelligence, they are annoyed and say, “Why is he crying forever? and get irritated. And the parents are worried that the baby will grow up to be a selfish child, and say, “That’s enough!” and leave the crying baby alone.
Of course, this would be the case if the parents were the codependent type, but the stress stimulus of a crying baby raises stress hormones due to the worry that the child will grow up to be selfish child. After a certain amount of time, the stress hormone goes down and the parent becomes a regression type and says, “Enough!” and leave the child alone.
Then, after a little time passes, the stress hormone rises sharply again, and the parent holds the baby and fusses over it, saying, “I neglected her, so maybe I hurt her feelings. Then the stress hormones drop and she says, “Why do I have to do this to you forever!” and anger comes up because she turns back into a child.
A baby who has an intelligence gap with its parents will be in a state of stress at the point that its parents don’t understand it. But not only that, they are also put into an uncomfortable electric shock when their codependent type parents “worry” about them being selfish, and when their parents’ stress hormones drop and they turn back into a child. The parents’ concern that they may have done something to hurt the baby’s feelings is also an electric shock, and so on, they receive a series of electric shocks until the child becomes a learned helplessness (a tremendous narrative).
Babies of the over-adjusted type who grow up in this way are perceived as “children who watch their parents’ faces” or “children who pay attention to their parents”.
From the parent’s point of view, they become aware of being “a child who was not a handful” or “a child who is easy to raise”.
It can be a tremendous narrative that there is an intellectual high/low gap between the parent and the child, but the characteristic of the parent is that he/she is jealous of the child.
For children, the fits of jealousy are difficult to recognize when they are being made by the parent, but the most obvious is the parents’ “expressionless white face”. When a young, cute child is playing happily or talking, suddenly the parent’s facial expression disappears.
Because they are having fits of jealousy toward the child, the parent’s facial muscles freeze up, and the jealous face appears.
This is a tremendous electric shock to the child. When a child is exposed to this look from a caregiver when he/she is having fun or being happy, he/she thinks, “What if I have done something wrong?” When the child is talking, the parent will interrupt with “I am” and not try to listen to the child at all.
If there is no difference in intelligence, parents should be able to listen to their children because they have lived longer and have more experience. But the parents can’t listen and cover their own stories because of the difference in intelligence, which causes them to have fits of jealousy and turn into destructive personalities.
When the child is happy, they always throw a wet blanket on it. At the point where the child wants praise, the parent says in a parental way, “If he’s on a roll, he’s in big trouble. But that is codependence. They say and do destructive things while thinking “for the child’s sake” because they are having fits of jealousy.
Another characteristic will be “passive aggression”.
They forget to do what the child wants them to do. They abandon what they should do.
Then they repeatedly do what the child does not want them to do.
From the child’s point of view, “Are the parents harassing me?”
From the parent’s point of view, there is an educational reason why it is wrong to spoil the child.
But that educational reason, which is for the child’s sake, is also happening out of a fit of jealousy.
Because they would not do the same thing to a child who is close to or below them in intelligence.
The over-adjusted type gets stressed out by repeatedly remembering these experiences in their minds.
That stress hormone causes inflammation and then an autoimmune outburst.
When you recall an unpleasant experience like this, try to think, “My autoimmunity is out of control. Then the stress hormones will start to work properly in response to stressful stimuli, and you will automatically avoid stress.
The over-adapted type person who used to think and act to protect themselves will no longer have to think and will automatically be free to choose a safe and pleasant place to be (all written in narrative).