Over-adapted types believe that they have never experienced approval from their parents, and that this is a psychological trauma that leads to low self-esteem. To put it simply, the over-adapted type thinks that because they have never experienced praise or recognition from their parents, they lack self-confidence.
If there is an intelligence gap of more than 20 between them and their parents, the parents will have fits of jealousy. Jealousy is an uncontrollable animalistic fit that occurs under the condition that “you are in a lower position than me, but you have something better than me.
Parents have fits of jealousy when “the parent is in a better position than the child, but the child’s intelligence is superior to theirs,” and the parent transforms into a destructive personality.
Because it is a fit, the memory of what was said and done during the transformation into the destructive personality is left out of the parent’s mind. They say, “I never said that!” or “I didn’t behave that way!” and they seem to be deliberately pretending that they don’t know, but the memories of the time during the fits are either left out or conveniently edited out.
Usually a person’s memories are organized in drawers in the brain, tagged with the emotions that arise when stress hormones are elevated. When a person is having a jealousy attack, his stress hormones are reversed and he regresses and act like a baby. So when a parent has a jealousy attack and becomes angry or unfaithful, it is not organized as a memory. And the memories before and after the parent turned child are edited to suit the parent (all written in narrative).
If an over-adapted type of child does something to please the parent, the parent with the intelligence difference will have a fit of jealousy. If a child works hard and makes a handmade present for the parent’s birthday, the parent tells the child “thank you” and hugs the child, just in case the parent has to pretend to be happy for the child who made the present, but the eyes are not smiling because they are having a jealousy attack.
And parents who have an intelligence gap and say “I wish the color was painted a little more carefully” and make a bad comment about the gift their child made, because they are having a jealousy attack and their stress hormones are dropping and they are regressing again.
This is traumatizing, one would think, but it is actually a more interesting mechanism.
It is that the over-adapted type is set up in infancy, and learned helplessness is already entrenched at this point. And when a person is in learned helplessness, he/she will irresistibly imitate the sensations of the other person. Then the feeling of “not being accepted by my parents” is just an irresistible imitation of that of the parent who has regressed into a fit of jealousy. Because Over-adjusted types are imitating irresistibly, they think that they are not accepted, and they do not suspect that they are imitating their parents’ senses.
The parents are not being accepted by their children, because they regress in fits of jealousy.
This is because the stress hormones have dropped and regressed, and the parent is unable to become aware of this. If they want to make it conscious, they can say, “I sacrifice so much for you all the time, and you make fun of me by trying to get away with this dirty stuff!” It’s like that. “This is not enough to be grateful!” is because jealousy has transformed them into a destructive personality.
People who are not intellectually different from their parents think that parents would never think that way about their children. But it is very interesting to see the reaction of parents when over-adjusted types give gifts to their parents as adults.
A PhD who studied facial expressions said, “Facial expressions change instantaneously,” and that is exactly what happens when they receive a gift: they instantly have a emotionless face (their eyes are not smiling). And they pretend to be happy because they are caring and serving the child who gave it to them in a codependent state. From there, they regress and ruin the gift.
The over-adapted type who gave the gift feels uncomfortable, saying, “My parents don’t approve of me,” and this is conveyed by the parent. The parent’s feeling of “I am unloved, that I put so much care and attention into this child, and they are trying to get away with such a terrible gift” is swirling around in the regressed parent’s head.
The over-adapted type irresistibly imitates such a regressed sense of the parent. And they cannot properly sort out the memory of “not being acknowledged” in their brain because they have made the parent’s feeling their own. So, it becomes a sense that the memory of “not being acknowledged by parents” is forever attached to them without being sorted out (all written in narrative).
And the reason why the feeling of “not being acknowledged” in the over-adapted type is traumatizing is because it is not organized as a memory. It is not properly organized as a memory when it is not their feeling in the first place, but they make it their feeling.
When inflammation occurs due to stress, the immune system attacks the mental trauma that is the latent inflammation of “not being acknowledged. When the autoimmunity runs out of control due to the latent inflammation of “not admitting it” in the relationship with parents, antibodies are created.
Their antibodies react with people of similar intelligence to their parents (20 or more below them), and because the immune system attacks the latent inflammation of “not being accepted,” they offer their services to be accepted by the person with the intelligence difference, which triggers fits of jealousy in that person. Then the person regresses, and the over-adapted type irresistibly imitates the person’s sense of “being made fun of” or “not being accepted” thus becoming “I am not accepted or recognized by this person.
Of course, since they are the over-adapted type, they just imitate the other person’s sensations without resistance at that time. Then, when they are alone, that stress hits them all at once, causing inflammation and activation of peripheral immune cells, and cognitive function declines.
Whenever such an over-adapted type of person feels stress, if he/she thinks, “My autoimmunity is out of control,” he/she will realize, “This is not my feeling!”
When they think “my autoimmunity is out of control,” their stress hormones start to work properly with the stress stimulus, so they automatically stop approaching people who cause jealousy attacks.
The person who was the over-adapted type would then be able to use the time for himself.
In the free flow of time, they return to their true selves because the inflammation disappears and cognitive function returns.