It’s important to feel what we feel when we turn our attention to codependent and regression types.
The first method of identification is the sensation you feel when you turn your attention to the other person. If when you turn your attention to the other person, you feel “I’m kind of nervous”, then that person is a regression type (I am only writing this in the narrative). The regression type has the characteristic that the hormones of tension drop with stressful stimuli, so the hormones of tension are present even before the stressful stimuli and the person is highly tense on a regular basis.
If you become “not uncomfortable” or “does not feel much tension” when you turn your attention to the other person, then this person is a codependent type. This is because the codependent type always thinks about the feelings of those around them. Because the codependent type instantly thinks about the feelings of the person to whom he or she directs attention, the other person feels as if he/she is looking in a mirror and becomes “not uncomfortable. Rather, the other person may feel a kind of superiority when they turn their attention to the codependent type, thinking, “I may be better than this person.” Because the codependent type is taking a position of caring for our feelings, we feel that “I am better than him.
When you are nervous when you turn your attention to the regression type, you interpret it as “I am nervous because the other person is superior to me,” and so on. And if you think about the regression type’s feelings and pay attention to them because you perceive them to be superior to you, you become a codependent type. By thinking about the feelings of the regression type in a codependent way, you receive high stress from the other person even when you are at rest. The stress stimulus from the other person then causes inflammation, activates peripheral immune cells, and lowers cognitive function. Cognitive function is reduced and the feeling of “actually being inferior to the other person” becomes stronger, and the more contact you have with the regression type, the lower your cognitive function becomes due to inflammation, and the more you feel stuck in it.
Even for those who say, “I get nervous around people, so I have to pay attention to them,” if they feel nervous the moment they turn their attention to the other person, they should try to realize, “This person is a regression type.” Then the regression type will no longer cause inflammation, and the cognitive function will return to its original state. Then you will properly see that you were in a state of allergy to the regression type and were inflamed by stress hormones, and you will realize that you were allergic to the regression type, not interpersonal tension.
Rather than feeling “comfortable” with the other person, you feel a sense of superiority, and when you come in contact with the codependent type, you think, “Huh? Did I tell you something unnecessary?” and regret it later. This is because codependent types “think about the other person’s feelings,” which causes your tension hormones to drop. The lowered tension hormones make you lose control and you say, “I said something I didn’t have to say. The codependent type releases self-control and you speak something that you would not normally speak, and the codependent type will always say one extra word to you. With stress hormones lowered, you will not be able to feel the exact emotion at the moment for the one word said by the codependent type, so it will not be organized as a memory, and only the unpleasant feeling will come up later. And then, “Why did that person say that to me!” and the anger will not stop. And you can’t stop feeling regret for having said something unnecessary because the codependent type makes you regress (turn into a child) and later your stress hormones go up and your autoimmunity goes out of control due to inflammation.
The inflammation of stress from the codependent type causes peripheral immune cells to become more active and cognitive functions to deteriorate, resulting in memory impairment and repeating, “I talked extra to the codependent type again. Then the inflammation of the stress stimulus from the codependent type torments you with various physical symptoms, which are further aggravated when the codependent type regresses you and confides in you about it, because that is also a stress stimulus from the codependent type.
When you turn your attention to the other person, you will accept it without dismissing the feeling, ” I think I’m better than this person.” Then you will be able to recognize, “This person is a codependent type.” When you recognize that the other person is a codependent type, you will be able to understand what codependent types do. The codependent type imagines your feelings without your permission, and you feel stressed because they are different from what you feel. When you see that “this is how they think and regress others’ feelings,” you will not be stressed by the codependent type.
If you know that the other person is a codependent type, you no longer think, “Why are you imagining things so arbitrarily? And, stress hormones are not raised any higher than necessary, and you can make the right choice to “fight or flee” against the stress of the codependent type.
When you are able to recognize the “codependent type” and automatically respond appropriately to stressful stimuli, your inflammation will heal and your cognitive function will return. When cognitive function returns, you will see that it was a trap of the codependent type that made you think “I might be better than you.
When you are walking down the street and you turn your attention to someone walking by, you think, “Oh! I may feel nervous when I pay attention to that person” or “I may think I am superior,” you will gradually get better at differentiating between the codependent type and the regression type.
As you get better at differentiating between the codependent and regression types, you will automatically stop receiving excessive stress stimuli of that type, and your cognitive functions will return to their original state because your autoimmunity will not run out of control due to inflammation.
Then you’ll be free of ties and you’ll meet people who are in tune with your true self (all written in narrative).